graffeti:

my grandma is angry at my grandpa because when they went to the doctors the lady asked what he was allergic to and he said his wife

nahshaw:

MEGA SHOUT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING THROUGH REALLY SHITTY SITUATIONS AND ARE TRYING TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER

goforeverforworseorbetter:

goodbye-old-friend:

today i found out that apparently if you kill someone in international waters on an unregistered boat then throw the body overboard they can’t trace it back to any one legal system so you can’t be prosecuted for their murder

so what did you do today

mom: don't eat the cookies yet, they just came out of the oven and are too hot
me: fire cannot kill a dragon

gooutfighting:

if you say you don’t know the lyrics to at least one high school musical song then you are lying

teenagevevo:

one of the biggest mysteries of the world is why some people pretend to only like one genre of music